The Songlist you received is to help you focus on music you want to include or exclude from your event. We suggest you go through the list and lightly (so we can read it) cross out a few songs you know you don't like and put a check or star next to those songs you'd love to hear (please DO NOT use a highlighter, as we often fax these pages directly to the bandleader, and it doesn't show with highlighting). You may present us with a list of other requests, because every band does many more songs than they could put on their list, and they are constantly updating their repertoire (but not always their list!). Please keep in mind this is a wish list if your band knows the song reauested it will be their peasuer to play it for you , if not , please understand that the band cannot learn these "wish list" requests for you you. Try not to go crazy marking up the songlist, so the bandleader can utilize your requests to help read your party betterhas some room to use his judgement and can easily refer to it at the party.
We are very happy to learn any special songs you select for your first dance and the dances with your parents. We will also gladly offer suggestions if you need them. We politely require you to send us a TAPE (or CD) of the song for your first dance and the dances with your parents eight weeks prioir to your date, so that the band has sufficient time to learn the songs well. You are welcome to ask us if we need the tape prior to that date (for example, every band knows "Unforgettable" or "Wind Beneath My Wings", but even in those cases, which version do you love??).
Most importantly in your music selections are your general preferences
LIKE: "We want a good mix, but no participation dances (Chicken dance, Macarena, etc.)OR: "We love lots of 70s disco, some particiaption dances, but not much 90s club music"OR: "We don't care much for 70s disco, but mix in a lot of Motown and Rock&Roll" OR: "We just want a great party, let the bandleader (or DJ) use his judgement"
You need to trust your bandleader (or DJ) to read the crowd, and pace the evening to you and your guests your tastes, your guests, and the Banquet Manager / Matre'de caterer's pacing of the dinner, but be assured we are VERY HAPPY TO DO YOUR PARTY YOUR WAY (see the party can begin and the following paragraph below for more)!!
The Wedding Information Checklist is designed to help you organize (and customize) your wedding reception. The sheet is in the order that the reception events are typically organized, but since no two weddings are the same, please feel free to ask us about any areas of the info sheet that you might need help with.
We suggest you list at least all important names (parents, maid of honor, and best man) even if we are not introducing them, so that we know the important people at the party by name, and in case you decide to make last minute changes in your decisions regarding intros. We STRONGLY suggest you include phonetic pronunciations along with the standard names (especially anything you think we might need).
The form starts with your names at the top. I suggest you leave the bride's maiden name on this part of the form.
The parents of the Bride are introduced first, followed by the parents of the Groom (If you have any unique family situation, please feel free to ask us before you make a final decision. For example if the Bride's parents are divorced and both are remarried, we would introduce the Bride's mother and husband, followed by the Bride's father and wife, then the parents of the Groom). ******
As we begin the intros, most typically the bandleader functioning as MC might say something like:
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen! We hope you're all set to have a wonderful time! We'd like to ask your attention as we begin the festivities with a few brief introductions.
First up, the parents intros. There are three most common options:
1) You can introduce the parents walking into the room. For example: First of all, We'd like to ask you to welcome the parents of the bride, please give a warm round of applause for John and Mary Smith (or Mr. and Mrs. John Smith). The parents walk in with musical accompaniment as your guests applaud. This is probably the most typical way that introductions are handled.
2) Or, you can introduce the parents from the tables. For example:Before we bring in the bridal party, We'd like to ask you acknowledge the parents of the bride from their table, please give a warm round of applause for John and Mary Smith (or Mr. and Mrs. John Smith). Your parents stand at their table (or remain seated) and wave to your guest's applause. If any of the parents would have trouble walking in or standing, this is an especially good reason to do the intros this way. You might also find this method more informal.
3) Lastly, you could choose to pass on the introductions of the parents all together.
When it comes to the choice of what to do about parent intros, I strongly suggest you involve your parents in your decision. Many a family has said "Whatever you want is fine" early on, only to assert a strong feeling in the final days. A brief conversation months before your wedding, allowing your family to let you know how they feel might save you some stress later. Even if you have a strong opinion, you might want to say something like "We envision doing the intros likeÉ because we want to set a toneÉ are you comfortable with that?" ******
Next up, we would introduce the bridal party, the Bridesmaids and Groomsmen (or if you prefer, Ushers). The form gives you a clear spot to select yes or no for introducing them. You can select to have the bridal party introduced by full names or first names only. For example: Now We'd like to ask you to welcome our Bridesmaids and Groomsmen. First of all, please give a warm welcome to Lauren Bacall escorted by Robert Altman.
OR: Now We'd like to ask you to welcome our Bridesmaids and Groomsmen. First of all, please give a warm welcome to Lauren and Bob. Usually, we introduce them as "couples', but when there are unbalanced numbers, it is common to end the intros of the bridal party by having a gentleman escort two ladies or a lady escorted by two gentlemen (or to do several trios in a row when needed).
After that, we introduce the Flower Girl(s) and Ring Bearer(s). Once again, the form gives you a clear spot to select yes or no. I recommend introducing younger participants by first name only (to make it easier for them), but we can use full names when you prefer. Please be aware that REALLY young ones may suffer from post ceremony "melt down" or may simply be hit with some stage fright when it comes to intros. Don't be concerned if they bail out on you at the last moment. Your guests will certainly understand if this part of your intros doesn't run as smoothly as the rest (as another example, sometimes the young ones will walk a few steps into the room only to freeze. A parent or other familiar face on standby may help them through the proceedings.)
Now we introduce the Maid (or Matron if she's married) of Honor and Best Man. Again, the form gives you a clear spot to select yes or no for their introduction (Please mark the form for Maid or Matron of Honor). Some people have two women and / or two men in this category, we are happy to handle this any way you need.
Usually, your bandleader has specific music they play for "entrance music"; for example the band might play one piece for the introductions (like a jazz standard) and stop before introducing the Bride and Groom, maybe bringing them in with another instrumental. Typically the band plays something fun, funky, and upbeat.
Finally, we bring in the Bride and Groom! It's not uncommon to skip any or all intros. We can easily introduce you even if you've skipped introducing everyone else. Most typically, we might do one of the following:we'd like to ask you all to please rise and warmly welcome, (for the first time as husband and wife) Mr. and Mrs. William Wilson.
OR:
We'd like to ask you all to please rise and warmly welcome, (for the first time as husband and wife) William and Catherine Wilson.
We'd like to ask you all to please rise and warmly welcome, (for the first time as husband and wife) Bill and Cathy.
Or if you have passed on all the intros so far, and prefer to have entered the room with your guests we might say something like:Please put your hands together and welcome Bill and Cathy as come up to do their first dance (as husband and wife).
As you can see, we can leave in or out the reference to husband and wife. There are also many other ways we could introduce you and we are happy to help you word your intros to fit your personality and situation. For example we recently was asked (by the Bride and Groom) to say: Ladies and Gentleman, I'd like to ask you all to please rise and put your hands together to welcome, for the first time as husband and wife, FINALLY! - William and Catherine Wilson.
Introducing the bride and groom up to the dance floor leads us right to your First Dance:
The first dance usually starts alone, to give you both that special moment (and for the photographer to get a few great shots of the two of you on the dance floor). You can opt to stay alone out there for the duration, or we can invite the bridal party (which includes the parents) or simply everyone to join you on the dance floor. We often suggest practicing dancing to whatever recording you have of your first dance, both for you to get a "feel" for the music and to . We can lengthen of shorten the song to fit your needs.
After your first dance, you need to decide about the Parent's Dances. The checklist offers several options. You can do the dance with your parents after the first dance or after the cake cutting (or skip either or both dances, see below). Most people opt to do the parent's dance after the first dance. First of all, it's easier on you to "get it over with" if you'll forgive the expression, and move on to your celebration. Secondly, your hair, makeup, and dress (or Tux) will be fresh for the photographs. Lastly, the participants (for example, the bride's dad) are easy to find (around the cake cutting time he could be out in the lobby having a cigar with a good friend, for example). There are, however, good reasons to do it after the cake cutting. One reason to wait till cake is simply to break up the activities. A more significant reason to wait is if you think dancing with your parent is going to be a very teary-eyed experience. You usually will be more "in the groove' several hours into the party, and less likely to be AS emotional. Matre'De may be waiting to take orders or deliver your first course
Some people opt to SKIP either or both of these dances altogether (an obvious reason to do so is if one parent is not present). It is normal and acceptable for EITHER dance to happen without the other. For example, the Groom may dance with his Mom even though the Father of the Bride may not be present to dance with the Bride or vica versa, although sometimes families do opt to skip both dances in this case. By the way, we strongly suggest NOT having the Bride dance with a "substitute" (especially NOT with her Mom!). It can be a VERY emotional moment, and we'd like to help you enjoy every moment of your joyous event (A very appropriate way to acknoledge a lost loved one would be to print a Dedication in the Ceremony program).
Many families today opt to use one song to "overlap" these dances - in other words, using one song (you would have to select a non-gender specific song) the Bride starts with her Dad and halfway through the song, the bandleader invites the Groom to escort his Mom out to join them on the dance floor. While this may not work for some families, as it both limits some of the songs that could be used and doesn't feature each couple seperately, that's exactly why some families like the option. For example, if the Groom was very uncomfortable dancing, or if one of the parents has trouble walking, or even to simplify or shorten the event, overlapping can be very helpful.
Whatever your preference, WE STRONGLY SUGGEST YOU DISCUSS THIS WITH YOUR PARENTS! This part of the evening is "their moment" with you and they may or may not have a strong oppinion (by the way, please keep in mind, that even thought this is "your day", it's also a family event, with all the baggage that might come with it!)
Typically, we begin with the Bride's dance with her Dad, followed by the Groom's dance with his Mom. The band will gladly learn any song you want for parents dances, but if you need help from us, there are many standard dances like: "What A Wonderful World", "Daddy's Little Girl", "Sunrise Sunset", "Thank Heaven For Little Girls", "You Are My Special Angel", "Through The Years", "Times Of Our Lives", "Boy Of Mine", "Song For My Son", "My Son", "Unforgettable", "Wind Beneath My Wings", "You Are The Sunshine Of My Life", and many others.
After the parent's dances, it's usually time to do a Blessing, if you choose to do one. Often the person who officiates your ceremony may do the Grace or a Motze (a Motze is part of a Jewish celebration - usually a prayer over breaking of the bread, known as a Challa). I suggest having a family back-up in case the person officiating ends up needing to leave before the reception (and personally, I've seen this happen MANY times). If not the person officiating, you may want to have a friend or family member do the blessing. I suggest you ask them in advance of the date of your wedding (I've also seen too many people fumble through a blessing because they had no prior notification). If your family situation doesn't require doing some kind of blessing, you may opt to skip this all together.
Next up, the Toast. Usually the best man makes the toast. These days, it's not uncommon for the maid (or matron) of honor to also get up to say a toast (you're not required to ask her, and unlike the best man, she's not obligated to make a toast). Sometimes one or more of the parents may have something to say (especially if the parents are paying for a large part of the affair). You don't have to get into this area with them, but if it comes up as a request from your parents, they usually are considered to have that privilege if they want it. Sometimes "extra" toasts come up after the best man, but a lot of times extra speeches are saved until after the cake cutting. This is especially true of when the bride and groom wish to get up and say something. It may be a lot easier for the two of you to address your guests after you've had a few hours to unwind and loosen up.
After the toast, typically the party can begin. The band or DJ will play dance music (frequently starting the evening with "lighter" dance music (read 40's ballads, swing, 50's slow music, light rock, or even pop ballads) and progress to more high energy music as your guests get into the "party spirit". Keep in mind, your friends and family want to talk and socialize, especially at the beginning of the party. We will usually alternate playing dance music between the courses with playing background music during your courses. This will insure the flow of the party; to allow the caterer provide your food hot and fresh, to let your guests have appropriate volume for speaking when there is food on the tables, and to most assuredly pick up the energy between courses and help get your guests out on the dance floor.
The bandleader (or DJ) will always use his best professional judgement to ensure your party is GREAT! If you'd like the party to shift gears (either to ask that the music be mellower or to ask to have the music "pick it up" and get more energetic) at any time, JUST ASK! It is truly our pleasure to have your party suit your needs AT ALL TIMES! We will ESPECIALLY be happy to honor ANY AND ALL requests from you or your parents to change the VOLUME at any time! I think you will find that your bandleader or DJ is usually right on track, and in fact is typically one step ahead, since we are working closely with your Banquet Manager to time our music precisely to the service of food courses. Your bandleader (or DJ) will also try to stop by your table a few times and touch base to make it easier for you to have access to us and see if you have any requests we could honor.
Typically, the first two hours of your reception is filled with the intros, dancing, and the courses of your dinner. After dinner, the music steps to the forefront and we keep you and your guests up and dancing all night long. The only brief interuption is at about the beginning of the 3rd hour for the last set of activites centered around the cake cutting.
When the Banquet Manager is ready, it's time to Cut The Cake. Usually, we will make an announcement like: We'd like to call your attention to the cake table, moving it's way out to center of the dance floor (or wherever it is), and we invite those of you who would like to grab your cameras to do so as we invite the Bride and Groom (or Cathy and Bill) to CUT THE CAKE! As you cut the cake, the band typically will play great background music (instrumentally, so that it doesn't distract your guests from watching you). Some songs a band might play include "How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You)", "When I'm 64", "Linus and Lucy" (Peanuts theme), a ballad like "As Time Goes By", or maybe your wedding song (again, instrumentally). Usually we DON'T play "Bride Cuts the Cake" unless you request it.
After the cake, the Bride's dance with her Dad, followed by the Groom's dance with his Mom happens (IF you didn't do it right after the 1st dance - SEE ABOVE).
The Bouquet toss is next. Some brides do toss the bouquet, some don't. If you want to toss the bouquet, please be sure there are enough single women (nothing is more uncomfortable than announcing the bouquet toss only to discover there are only 2 or 3 single women out on a big, empty dance floor). Some brides are choosing to present the bouquet - for example, giving it to the bride's maid of honor, or to the bride's sister, or even to the couple that introduced the bride and groom to each other.
Next up the Garter. Some couples couples find this fun while others find it uncomfortable. Usually, a chair is brought out to the center of the dance floor, the bride sits down and the groom removes the brides garter. After that, all the single men come out and the groom tosses the garter (much like the bride tosses the bouquet). Afterwards, another chair is brought to the center of the dance floor and the gentleman that caught the garter puts it on the leg of the woman who caught the bouquet.
After all that, we're back to the party. The band will "take it home" for you, bringing the energy to a peak to keep you and your guests out on the dance floor having nothing but fun! If you're enjoying your party, the band will glad to talk with you about taking the party into overtime. The rates for our "OT" are spelled out on your original contract. OT is available for 1/2 hour at a rate of $85 per musician. If you opt to go to an hour OT, we charge $150 per musician for the entire hour (dropping the rate from the initial 1/2 hour rate). You are NOT required to tip the performers. If you think your band deserves a tip, that's up to you. Since many clients ask about this, I will say that $20 to $50 a man is a common gratuity for a job well done.
